Wonderful technology and all that, though I fear that a Web 3.0 widgapplitweeterwave that logs where, when and how one scratches oneself cannot be too distant in the future...
Dangerous.
Anyway, my true purpose this evening is to inform you of what will perhaps become one of my most ambitious summer projects since I made that exploding beluga whale sculpture out of toilet paper rolls, Jello and arsenic back in '86. My brother, Kevin, and I have decided to compose a twelve-part rock opera in commemoration and in honor of the best flavor of Fancy Feast cat food ever, Savory Salmon Feast.
Now you may ask yourself, "How did I get here?" And you may ask yourself...ok, enough of that. Why we decided to compose about cat food is what is on your mind. Well, the culprit is one Catkin, the most infamous (and perhaps slow-witted) of our four feline friends.
Savory Salmon Feast is Catkin's favorite cat food BY FAR. While he'll eat "Cod, Shrimp and Sole Feast" and "Supa Dupa Tuna Special", he does not consume them with the vigor and enthusiasm that he does with SSF.
So, seeing as we like to draw an irresponsible amount of meaning from Catkin's actions, we decided that, indeed, the feast must have some very lyrical, mythical history, properties and that violent, bloody wars must have been fought over it in the years of yore.
Thus, the idea for a space-rock opera was born. Frankly, I'm really not sure how Kevin and I, instrumentalists of just moderate skill (and lyricists of no skill), will be able to fill the 50-minute minumum we have set for this opera. My first guess would be aimless keyboard solos and stream of consciousness poetry reading.
But we have practiced composing already, under the moniker "Three Dimensional Rhombus", the origins of which are probably worth a whole other blog entry. Our first effort, "Jailbreak from St. Petersburg", was derided as "elevator music" and "repetitive schlock". Thanks, mom. Our next effort proved to be somewhat more memorable, as "Deathpin Raveout X" features FIVE layers of drums, Latin piano riffs, and a blues organ playing it out. It lasts all of 48 seconds, so I think it's worth it to debut it to the world.
I swear we'll get better. And that we won't cheat by using Garage Band next time, there will be real synthesizers played, real mellotrons engaged, and space music so otherworldly will be
created, even Sun Ra himself will flinch.Enjoy your weekend, people, and may the feast be with you.
I was recently introduced to Soundtrack Pro; I never new the world could work that way! So had I read this about a week earlier, Deathpin Raveout X would have blown my mind.
ReplyDeleteBut, instead, it has now blown my entire existence. I never knew such artistry could be accomplished by such means!
PS- I think that's the specific organ sample I used in a very similar way for my internship lol.
UnPS- I can't wait even for a second to hear the cat food rock opera. Which means at most, you have approximately 0.083 seconds to compose each movement. The picture you found of Catkin is brilliantly dopey lol I've never seen a cat look more vacant! I want to hug him.
Glad you enjoyed the piece, it evokes, I don't know, having a disco dance party in a Baptist Church...in space.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm as anxious as you are to hear the opera, I have a basic riff and melody worked out, but I'm not sure if enough permutations on that exist to extend it to 50 minutes. Like I said, aimless keyboard solos will abound ;-)